Oh what a ……year that was, 2021.
Well 2021 is behind us, as I write this its still actually 2021 though only 48 hours to go. The sentiment is to have all of our thoughts, insights and ideas in one place from the year that was 2021. We also thought it would be great to add extra details in the conversation that came from the insights we share about what it means to us.
We thought we would share ALL our thoughts about 2021 and that’s a lot of them! To help in this brain dump of noise and thought we have put it into sections! Don’t you just love an oxymoron of logic and creativity.
THE YEAR OF 2021
Looking at what is we achieved. This is big and also just not about achievement. We must look at what we didn’t do and understand why.
INTENTIONAL DIRECTION
Our ability to be intentional is critical. It’s the reason we do what we do. Intention creates I can and action.
NOT NEW YOU FFS
Aaaaaaargh this drives us nuts. There is never a reason or action about being a new you. You are evolving even if you didn’t want to. That’s life. Reality is a reflection of the year gone by is just that reflection - you can’t change any of it it’s done!
BRUTAL TRUTHS
Let’s push those paradigms aside. Let’s be open and share the brutal realities of life, push the fake focus on shininess, perfect and comparisons aside. Not needed. This is the brutal truth.
Where to begin well at the end of course. We do love a bit of positive agitation and discombobulation and starting at the end of the year is a great place to be. We reflect and we look at what has been.
THE YEAR OF 2021
Review and reflection are usually misunderstood just like What Ifs. Being able to reflect and review and NOT live in the past is the part that gets lost. We suffer regret from the past, we carry emotional baggage and can make decisions based on our past and not the now or desired future. So having the skill to review and reflect that actually helps is super useful and as we still navigate the covid years we must build this skill or we start to delete, validate and assume that our memories are the correct ones from negative past experiences that live with you in the now.
Listen when you see the play bar
Review and reflection
Simply review and reflection is looking at what was achieved, and as significant what wasn’t achieved. This is big and also just not about achievement. We must look at what we didn’t do and understand why. Not regret* anything that we have done yet it’s about being aware of why we did or didn’t, what it is we can do to improve or recognise and celebrate, how we did what we did to repeat positive actions and how to understand the negative or failed areas. Let’s get to the point here are our joint reflections of the year 2021 from our personal ones to our business.
2021 Personal Reflections
Embrace your real friends - the value of true relationships. We have experienced two types. The real committed ones coming out of each lockdown , and our growth and definition of what friendship is- being able to conflict, have different values yet accept each other as is.
Your experience is your experience not that of others (even if it’s the same experience)
A Truth can be acknowledged and also does not need to be accepted as your truth.
Learning and seeking truth. See it through different lenses- ie media polarisation required four perspectives (a) On the fence (b) Don’t care (c) Towards (d) Away from. We got to start filtering what we are reading - is this true ( get facts from more sources) get the four perspectives
We are all tougher than we think - grit is part of our inner resource
Intentionality is what takes you forward
Learning to avoid lazy linguistics. The power, impact and influence on self and others through our words matters.
Political correctness - delete and focus on what’s really right
being aware for ourselves and asking -Is your life defined by the right moments.
It’s not somebody else’s fault
2021 Business Reflections
Every business should have a framework (RLC)
When will it be time to stop talking about culture like this bollocks
When we accept that personal values connect to your business values and should be your recruitment actions (define your business values)
You are not your job role
Be more In vs being more on your business
Stop - remember your covid 19 lessons before it’s too late
Business cliches are not the answer
Lazy leadership language
No action is action
Stop talking start doing - too much talk, too much past impedes the future opportunities ahead
Being busy isn’t effective (find your pace instead )
Permission - Apply how to ask for permission
Change your language - be more granular
Teach to not avoid yet lean into permission conversations
What we did not achieve (business and personally)
Value- sharing the added value we didn’t do this well. We do many things that become expected and never billed for or identified as an added value to allow and support our clients. Value first is and will continue to be our focus - however, it has a detriment to business growth if we dont identify the value we do give. This year we will be sharing with our client Value Reviews (ultimately a one-page statement of value content, support, resources etc ). The bonus of identifying this and sharing it with our clients is that they have also recognised this missing element in their own businesses and can help their clients too.
Social media- we fell into the pit of social media in 2019-2020 and astronomical marketing costs and being blindsided by glossy, glamourous marketing pitches which generated zero business. Then through to 2021, we continued to commit so much to it. We progressed to being aware of the time and also the lack of connection it created specifically for us as a business. We thought social media was a necessity, a must-do, should do. This creates pressure and removes the value impact- we didn’t get it right for ourselves. It still a work in progress yet we do know that - we have learned that our business is a referral business (every contract we have undertaken has been a referral so we understand how we can grow). Not achieving this for 2021 is a great business lesson we will only post if we need to. We have shift changed all our content through the website plus a member community content resource for free, and that is much more productive for us and links directly to our RLC Framework too (what we do!). Not achieving a high social presence is a double edge of achievement/non-achievement. We have created the newsletter (which now goes out consistently), weekly ACT and has allowed us to have a better presence to people that have an interest in RLC Global and not a generic, carte blanche approach.
Public Voice - This has been (brutal truth) avoided in what we publicly share. Anyone who knows us as a business and works with us directly is we challenge, call in poor behaviours, congressions and lack of awareness of others cultures, race, religion, sex, gender actually any ‘ism we can challenge. Yet we remain a homogenous business - white to white and this is not our values. This creates a lack of public voice we then project. This lack of achievement in 20021 will be the one making us be more proactive and active in ALL the things that matter and that is equity, balance, inclusion, diversity- they are all leadership led and also cultural so we have the tools, products, services and techniques to do all of this. Challenging when we see something that is not right or acceptable or congressions that do not fit our values. Our purpose and mission as a business is to create success for all and to fight the leadership deficit in the global business community so therefore we need to stand up and be accountable. To achieve that we have to be willing and share our public voice and 2022 that is our true intention. This starts with the relaunch of Double D Do Podcast in January and us sharing brutal truths about life, business and the actual realities and share our public voice properly.
Intentional Direction
Intentionality is our thing. We preach it- Hallejuiah! We shout about it. We live it. We question ourselves against it. We make business decisions from it.
Intention as in our personal reflection of 2021 - intentionality is what takes you forward.
Our RLC Global business is built on living the way we want, working how we chose to. This may seem cliche to some, yet for us it’s reality. We work in an industry that is fake and also unrealistic. We challenge that every day and also it is important to our value set. Being intentional is what we set out to achieve running RLC Global. This defined focus on being intentional is we achieve a lot. We do.
We also talk a lot! Intentional talk means free flow. We talk stuff, life, love, work and personal out. Talking for us is a way to share, question, query and challenge our own thoughts and thinking- allowing perspective and opinion to form -live- as it tumbles out of our mouths.
Listen when you see the play bar
Our intentionality creates achievement for us. We see the difference of intention as we can. It deletes the T of can’t . It creates the shall, will, do attitude and action outcomes. Intention means first and foremost know yourself, if not find out. Know your business, if not find out. Keep asking why. What does this serve me - is this my intention?
Not new you FFS
Can we make a commitment for the rest of our lives that we will delete the NEW You New Year -please?
Excsue our language- it creates an impact and a pause moment. One of the most frustrating things on reflection is when we coach others and they fall to the paradigm and social contrast of I must be different, I must fit in, I must change who I am. NO. Let’s stop this. When we talk about change we must be focused on changing behaviours, not who you are. You are you. All in. A magnificent piece of human being, we are all gift wrapped differently that is your uniqueness. That must not change. The way we talk, respond, focus, use words, connect, choices are things you can change. NOT YOU. You dont need a new you. You are god damn perfectly imperfect in every way just as you are.
Accepting that there is no normal, no one type, no one way of being. Acknowledging you are you right now is and will always be enough. We get bombarded with you need to look this way, that way, be this, be that. Be you. Our reflections of 2021 are that being you is enough.
We can all improve how we choose to respond and be better humans to each other. It starts with being you, and always you. 2021 has taught us we can survive, we are together than we think, we can change quickly (global pandemic), we can accommodate others, we can amend and grow our language, we can think community, we can recognise and can be grateful, we can if we choose to do anything and deal with anything.
2021 shares with us that everything is a choice. YOU OWN THAT CHOICE.
Brutal Truths
Oh, here they are the slam you in the face reflections. We’ve shared so much already yet these are the ones that made us realise. Stopped us in our tracks at times. made us pause and rethink. We all mess up, we can all avoid the realities and brutal truths as it is easier (well in our heads its is).
The big fat 12 brutal truths of 2021 in our POV.
Please do feel free to challenge us, question us, query and share your own brutal truths of this year.
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You make the choices. No one has permission to make them for you. You give it to them.
Different choices mean not permitting others to make them for you.
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Social media is not reality. Reality is the stuff you live on every day. Reality is the up’s, downs, ebbs, flows, multiple emotions in the same second. Grief and happiness. Smiles and tears. We are being conditioned that a like, a heart emoji means something.- sadly it does not.
Ask- What are you sharing for? Why are you following them? If they upset or offend you? Why are choosing to follow them? What do you gain? You have a choice to not follow. You are choosing - why?
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Silence and inaction are actions in themsleves.
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People have their phones in their hands ALL DAY. If they dont reply, they dont want to at that moment. They don’t know what to say. They chose not. They forgot. They started to respond, and something else popped up on their screen.
You do not know what anyone is doing at that very moment. Stop making up your own story without facts. Stop waiting for the three dots reply! Phone someone and talk if you need to get an answer or wait patiently. DO NOT FILL THE WAIT WITH MADE-UP STORIES IN YOUR HEAD.
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What you think about others opinions of you is none of your business. Truly. This one is tough; we want to be liked and be considered in others thoughts and thinking. We are often, candidly, mostly not in anyone thoughts or first instance. Personal agenda comes first to the majority. It is usually based on their experience/truth/story and not yours, so you will never meet your desired expectations anyway.
We think we are the centre of others universe, and we are not!
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Every relationship needs work. Even when it is going “great”. From business to personal relationships, each needs consideration on how you impact and influence each connection. Are you asking questions? Are you asking whether this is true? Have you based an outcome on an assumption, bias or judgement?
Society forces us to win or lose. A relationship is neither- be it selling to someone or your spouse. It is compromise, understanding, respect, kindness.
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Even your business is NOT your life.
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We fall into the construct of
When I lose weight I will be….
When I get a promotion I will be…. When we make a profit we will be…
When it calms down it will be….
Be aware of your own When I (similar to I should). The words we tell ourselves that we will be, when I or should mean we are missing the learning, the movement, the pain, the grief, the love, the joy they coexist and when I mean you never get there.
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When we give and give and never get back, we get frustrated, annoyed and this can reflect in our language and behaviours.
We give without an intention of receiving anything back is the definition of reciprocity.
The reality is that we do still want to be recognised, acknowledged with the same effort or just simply noted we made an effort. IT DOES NOT HAPPEN.
Please take action and build the skill not to want anything in return. It takes time and effort to do this truly.
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There is no ordinary family unit. A nuclear family of 2.4 children is unreal and impossible (how do you have .4 in a human unit?)
Family is the connection of unconditional care, love, kindness, reality. None of this needs to be biological. Dysfucntioallity in humans is well what humans are. Unfortunately, we create unrealistic expectations and issues for ourselves (and they from us too) when we demand and expect blood family to be a certain way or they us. Find your family wherever or whomever they are.
(A final note is with many blended families we are expected to fall in love with this extended family unit- we fell in love with one person, therefore, it’s also unrealistic to believe that you will like the extended family- remove the pressure and just allow kindness. You dont need to like anyone, be respectful that is all you can do- or do not associate with them. You decide>
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Business needs structure, and communication is a necessity. If you believe you can “wing it”,; you even might for a while—reality bites when you start to grow as a business. Solopreneur businesses are successful as they have one metric of success the one person who owns it. Building a business requires structure, planning, focus, values, purpose and why.
Get an RLC Framework and see how your business grows. Our average firm grows 35% per year using it.
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Actually, any ‘ism is not a quota. If you talk about diversity, inclusivity, awareness then it’s something you LIVE and DO not talk about.
Be aware of your own actions, language, behaviours first. The RLC 7 Daily Leadership Principles program focuses on how YOU can make a difference.
2021 done! That’s our mutual brain dump for Dave and myself, our reflections and thoughts. We shall also share what we will be doing intentionally through 2022 in our newsletter so sign up now. Or share it with others - value is spread through action.
2022: Let us all go head first, leaning in, towards and at a pace that suits each of us, owning our intentional choices.
Notes and references
*Brene Brown’s new book Atlas of the Heart talks about emotional granularity that we have shared through 2021 this book is exciting for me as it validates and explores the work we have researched and used within our programs from Lisa Feldman Barrett Neurological science work and so much more- emotional granularity, power of language and its use in our lives. The only challenge I have with it is she says we should all have regret. I personally challenge this. She shares that regret and not accepting it exists or we should choose not to experience regret limits our EQ, or that we don’t have an EQ. My difficulty is that regret is such a negative past emotion- we regret what we haven’t done, it seems an irrelevant energy source to me. Pondering and allowing the past to seep into our life as a regret. Regret for me is that I am not learning or willing to be forward-thinking. This is POV and one that needs to be shared openly.
